Undergoing an Overhaul

Two years ago today, I made one of the biggest decisions of my life - I decided to leave the pagan community I had come to regard as family. I walked away from many familiarities, including my own magic. I carried out only the things I had pledged to my deities, and specifically withdrew into myself so that I could heal.

Walking away from that community has opened up so much more of my own life to me, to my son, and to my desires. I was finding more and more my inability to meet my own child’s needs because I was giving everything I had to another entity, where the only acceptable answer was to give more. My cup was beyond empty, and now it’s generally overflowing. It’s amazing how much room there is for anything else when you walk away from the one thing that had become toxic.

I had the space to finally tune in to my child more, and was able to get him services he had needed for some time. I had the space to tune in to my physical health, and start to make changes so that I could be the better version of myself I wanted. I had the space to be more creative, to actually pick up my yarn and craft a new thing. I had space, pure and simple.

In the time since, I have done so much more than I ever thought possible: My now fiancé came into my life, I got a new job, moved to a new state, started volunteering at the Humane Society, took up boxing and a variety of new hobbies, and am generally rediscovering my place in the world. I think for the first time in my life, I love almost every aspect of it. I feel empowered in ways I have never had the pleasure of previously, and it’s amazing.

Part of all of this newfound self-discovery has me back here, my website/blog. I was so excited to start this thing way back when, and I never had the energy to spend time on it. Today felt like a good day to see just what might come of it.