Finding Your Way to Self Love
Rarely do we get the reminder that life is supposed to be pleasurable; that we are meant to enjoy ourselves to whatever degree we are able. With times as uncertain as they are presently, now is the perfect time to hone in on what no longer serves us and to replace it with what does. Adding even one moment of joy or soul expression to our daily routine has the ability to transform our entire day.
A little over a week ago, I started working my way through The Dragontree’s book Rituals for Transformation. I first started this back in 2018, and only got eight workings in before I stopped. I had started just a few days before reconnecting with my now-husband and then stopped a few days after. Looking back at what I had previously written, I can tell that I wasn’t expanding far enough into the process. The link that I was missing actually came from work that I’m doing from Jennifer Posada.
Since I’ve embarked on this path that I’ve found myself on, there have been two recurring thoughts: 1) We’re spirits having a human experience, and 2) We really are just complicated house plants. Sort of weird thoughts to have together, but hear me out… As complicated house plants, we need nourishment: sunlight, fluids, and an environment to grow. As spirits having a human experience, what if that nourishment came in the form of joy just as equally as it came in the form of vitamins and minerals? Taking in moments of joy, stopping by the ocean, or looking out on the mountain, or taking a walk through a park—all small things that instantly brighten our lives. Enjoying your morning brew, soaking in what rays of light you can, or opening a window and feeling the breeze come through—small things that connect us to the life that is thriving around us.
Delighting in small moments of joy whenever possible is an act of self-love, and it shouldn’t be something that we shy away from. We should have pride in being able to say that we engaged with something every single day that made us feel happy or feel relieved, even for 30-whole-seconds. Doing the things that make us happy is what we are here to do. We aren’t meant to suffer and be stuck in pain. Enabling those around us to also take part in the things that make them happy is part of this lovely journey as well. Also, it’s completely okay to decide that what you need most is to sit and do nothing for however long. I am by no means suggesting that we must always be productive or otherwise in-motion—that is not at all sustainable. Rather, a simple reframe of mind can open us up to a better way of living.
A former teacher of mine could never understand why I, a then-single mother to an undiagnosed ADHD/ASD small child who worked a 40-hr mentally heavy job in San Francisco with a twice-daily 1-hr commute, would want to just sit on my ass when I got home from work at the end of the day. I was exhausted in so many ways and beat myself up constantly when I couldn’t push myself further. One day, we had been talking about self-care and the various ways that it could look like, and she simply could not accept that self-care could look like sitting on the couch zoning out to the T.V. Everything, in her mind, always had to have some amount of work or effort associated with it. Frankly, that’s just not healthy. We need time to just sit, and not have to think about anything. Nourishment sometimes looks like waiting. Nourishment sometimes is saying “no”.
Up until this precise moment in time, what have you done or seen today that brought you joy? Did you lay in bed an extra few minutes (or a lot) snuggling in the blankets? Did you get your morning brew just the way you like it? Was your bird friend back again to say hello? Have your plants sprouted new buds, or opened new flowers? What else is around you that brings even a ghost of a smile to your consciousness?
There are many mysteries in this world, though happiness and joy should never be outside of our reach. This may not be our first life, and this may not be our last, but this is the one life we have right now. Shouldn’t we enjoy it?
Tell me, dear reader, what brought you joy today?