Deity relationships are never the same for anyone. Many times we are the ones to go after and seek out gods and goddesses to work with. Sometimes, though, they come knocking all on their own. When we seek out deity, often we know what we desire to work on, we have some idea of a plan and how to go about getting done what needs doing - even if said deity has a whole other plan entirely. However, when deity shows up unexpected, we have to go through various hoops to figure why they’re here, and what we need to be working on - usually within ourselves.
Over the course of my practice, I’ve now had two separate goddesses come by unannounced. With each of them, our relationship formed through what I can only call “The Dance”. Every other deity I have worked with, has more or less come around when I put out a specific call - even when I didn’t know who precisely would show up, or when. This is how deity works sometimes, at least in my world and in the worlds of many whom I care for dearly. Sometimes the gods just come knocking and either we are prepared or we are not.
The first goddess I experienced this phenomena with is the Morrighan. She isn’t one to be trifled with, though She is also an excellent companion (provided you are doing what you promised). Our work together has been, on the whole, beneficial; though there are many scars from battle already formed, and many more, I’m sure, to come. She first showed up in a ritual, and informed me that we had work to do. At that point in time, I had no idea why She would be coming around me, and what we could possibly have to work with together. Following several months, She came back around. This time, though, I knew why She was coming, what She had in store, and simply that I was not ready for the load being presented. Fast forward another few months, just shy of one year from the first, She came a third time. This was the time where I accepted Her offer, and began a much needed courtship - which led to a formal dedication.
The other goddess with whom I’ve had this happen is Aphrodite. I’ve never really understood Aphrodite. I’d hear people talking about Her, or seen references to Her, and always I would be reminded of that High School, preppy, cheerleader type who was always the most beautiful, well-liked girl in the whole school. That (real) girl always hated me, I never fit in anywhere. Why would I want to put myself through that with this beautiful goddess?
One year at PantheaCon, She decided to come home with me. She sat quietly off to the side, never poking too heavily, quietly observing until the one day She decided to speak more loudly. I promised to give Her a chance, and I did. I am not worse off for it, I even have a better understanding of, and appreciation for, make-up and its’ various uses. After a few dedicated months to giving it a shot, things fell to the wayside. She pops up from time to time, we have practically the same conversation every time “Why are you here, what do you want?” Finally, after all of this time, I mostly get it. She’s been slowly shifting the tides within my way of thinking to be able to see myself as an attractive, beautiful woman - who people are lucky to know.
When the gods come knocking, we don’t have to answer. We are allowed to simply say “hello” followed immediately by “goodbye”. We are allowed to agree to testing the waters, but to also not make any commitments. With each of these particular goddesses, I went a minimum of one year before agreeing to anything even temporary. With Aphrodite specifically, She had been popping up for years before that one PantheaCon, and then it was another six months before I ever did anything about it (and we’re still in a state of discussion another two years later). I am also dedicated to a goddess that I barely talked to in the year leading up to my dedication - but who I knew was a perfect fit.
Just recently, my coven held a ritual where we honored the three Graces. It was this ritual, where I was priestessing for Aglia, that finally clicked the final nail into place. This was the ritual where everything started coming into focus. I’ve been considering for a year and a half now whether or not to dedicate - and whether or not to do so publicly (I can just as easily dedicate in my personal practice as I can my public facing coven). After years of dancing, I think I can finally say that I’m ready for what comes next. Though I also know that if I change my mind, She’ll still be waiting, and I won’t be any worse off.