When we begin to exist in this world, we are but a speck - unseeable to the naked eye. From there, we grow thousands of times over before we begin to exist as a recognizable person. After birth, we continue on the path of rapid change for years before all of that starts to slow down into the recognizable pattern that happens between "child" and "adult". Once a person is firmly in the adulthood category, we generally stop paying attention to the shifts that still continue to happen.
The other night I was at a sacred, weekly ritual that my friends have been gathering for for going on 4 years - Monday Night Dinner. Aside from the general frustrations that popped up for me, I was so overjoyed to be a part of it once again. I have gone to two other instances in the past, though with the challenges of raising a small child it was never practical in my mind for it to be a regular venture. I also had reservations around inviting myself to their thing, even though my friends have always said "you're welcome to come anytime, just let us know." However, with these friends, it feels more like family, and with family you know that you can just show up. As I continue to grow within myself, I'm learning that I can choose to exist in any space I desire. That night, I chose, most decidedly, that I wanted to be a part of this sacred meal with my friends - and it was fantastic.
This past year I have been learning how to better myself, how to become the Priestess that I desire to be. This Initiation is all about personal growth, and is very much self-guided on how the year is going to go. I do have trainers that I work closely with, but overall this journey is very much the path that I choose to carve. I have been stepping up and into roles of leadership without hardly trying, I knew that the work had to be done, and I was willing to be the person to do it. After a while, those patterns started to overflow into my life that is not my Priestesshood - which has been a beautiful blessing.
Finding healthy habits emerge after 10 years of adulting, is nothing short of amazing, and often times it feels like a miracle. It's nice to be able to find myself amidst doing a thing, to find myself surround by friends, to find myself experiencing joy with ease. I am growing into the Woman I've always wanted to be.
Change is not often a thing to be fearful of, and is much better received when one is open to the process. Personal growth is much the same. With personal growth though, we get to decide what change(s) we're going to encounter. We decide, and then take action, to hang out with our friends more. We decide, and then take action, to finally learn that thing that we've been meaning to do for ages (D&D, guitar, etc.).
We get to decide how much, or how little, we grow and change in our lives. The gods may illuminate paths that we can take, but we still have to take the steps to continue forth. The first steps off of the beaten path are the scariest, though the rewards at the end of the road will make it all worthwhile.